Hi I'm so sorry that you have to deal with blocks. My stutter mostly presents itself as repetitions at the start of a sentence but at the end of last year my stutter changed for around 2 weeks and i started getting blocks really really often and it was really painful because I love talking. I totally understand why you feel ashamed. I did too for the longest time. But theres nothing to feel ashamed about. I like to think of my stutter as spicy speech, it just makes everything a bit more interesting. Or my speech has a remix. Also if anyone else ever makes you feel embarrassed or ashamed I will fight them for you. They are not people you want in your life. You want people who love hearing what you have to say and will wait for you to speak. If you are around those sorts of people maybe you can let your guard down a bit and stop hiding it as much, cause idk about you, but I find that exhausting sometimes.