I have grown to not be mad. I found that the people around me wanted me "cured" but fluency became less of a priority to me. I believe in non-treatment because after a decade of therapy I realized what worked best was talking and normalizing my personal struggle vs endeavoring to make proud the folks who expected speech therapy to work. People have all kinds of quirks and my stutter is one of them. About 20 years from quitting speech therapy I don't regret a thing. My family worked hard to get me the speech-easy in-ear DAF device but I try to tell anyone who might want to try the speech-easy that is is not the magic cure it claims to be. With speech-easy I could read flawlessly and fluently off paper. What I could not do was carry on a conversation or hold a train of thought. It echoes the sound of your voice in your ear so you sort of "wait for yourself" and for me the aid didn't enable fluency because I wasnt seeking a band-aid for public speaking I was seeking an communication soloution. I am more free than ever being free of the expectation of fluency. Just because everyone wants me fluent... it's not something I have to hold myself to. I got beat up enough in grade school I refuse to beat myself up as an adult. Dealing with bullies in workplaces is my #1 problem with my stutter and I truly feel like the kind of people who treat me poorly for my stutter at work.... are the kind of people who would find something to bully me about eventually and even if I could snap my fingers and be fluent just for that bully it's not like a bully would be impressed. Living while not worrying what people think is the ultimate multi tasking job. For the record PTSD can be very difficult to treat and is not always straightforward. Trauma doesn't ever go away but it can get better. Esp when people with ptsd are kind to themselves. I was friends with people who did not treat me well so I know what you mean by avoiding them. If they too treat you poorly but you like them you don't need to drastically change your social life. If I could go back and give a young person struggling like I did some advice: you can do great things. If you feel lonely don't go down that long hallway of "why me?" Spend quality time with yourself by giving yourself a break to read or write or practice a craft or hobby or go for a walk. I often sat in sorrow wishing I was different and I wish I could have spent that time on bettering myself vs bullying myself. This group is really good and there are audio chat rooms posted from time to time. It might just help to hear other stutterers even if you are quiet. I really feel like the only part of speech therapy that helped me was being in the same room with all the other kids with speech troubles and knowing I wasnt alone. I was always a little bitter that the lisp kids graduated out though and I used to be pretty mad about it! As a kid no one told me great grandpa stuttered. The info is valuable to me now because it suggests my stutter is genetic instead of being my fault or anything like that. I'm shocked no one told me because that would have been much more inspiring than a list of famous people and historical figures who "overcame their stutter" with the heavy expectation of "and you can too!"