postr/StutterJuly 24, 2019

Stuttering as a Musician

13 points5 commentsView on Reddit →

Content

Stuttering as a Musician I grew up with a stutter at the same time I was learning piano. Years later, it baffled me when I encountered mental blocks in the middle of a piece that I memorized. I played the same notes repeatedly, unable to continue even though I knew what came next. One recital was unbearable as I stumbled through Bach's Italian Concerto. It seemed like just stage fright, but I could not explain what it felt like. ​ A friend once told me that musicians play their instruments like they speak; out of all the voices we hear, we are most accustomed to the sound of our own voice; because the act of making music is one of making sound, musicians automatically mimic the sound of their own voice. Hence, instrumentalists are often told to phrase melodies in the way they would sing them. It was a curious observation;I didn't think much about it for a few years. ​ Recently, the puzzle pieces began to fit together. As I continued with my endeavors as a pianist, I came to understand my mental blocks in music as similar to when I stutter. I was dumbfounded at the piano when I was struggling through a passage and remembered what my friend said. It began as just a possible explanation, but now I believe it to be the correct explanation. ​ This would support the idea that stuttering begins as a mental influency before it manifests as a speaking difficulty. In fact, as through my musical experiences, it seems that it can manifest as other mechanical difficulties too, as I encountered as a pianist. My fingers would seize up just like the tightness of my breath. I have noticed many other similarities since becoming more aware of this. ​ I have since concluded that overcoming stuttering can be understood through the lens of a cliche that can be phrased in a thousand ways. That when faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem, if one believes it can be conquered, one is already half-way to conquering it, or, The battle must first be won in the mind before the battle can be won in reality, or, believe you can, and you will... ad infinitum. ​ To end: I believe in all of you.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilityEmotional ExperienceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Overthinking & MonitoringSituational VariabilityPropositionality & WeightHope & MotivationIdentity & Self-Perception