Bro that's a negative way of thinking I understand it's hard but you don't want to make it even harder thinking that way, that way of thinking does not make things better it 10/10 make life even worse. Listen I probably feel the same way u feel but I try not to think that way because it doesn't fix nothing, even tho I suffer life still beautiful and I am apart of life, we all are so I hope u can find beauty in your flaws ❤️