I totally understand you, it might sound bad but I'd prefer to be mute (simply mute, not mute and deaf like most people are), maybe because of the stutter, talking with people don't bring me that much joy, even when I'm fluent. Mute people encounter other difficulties but people clearly understand being mute more than having a stutter, stuttering is commonly associated with being feeble minded while most people know that you just are mute, you don't get to control it. I'd like to have a condition that is easily understandable by itself. I've dreamt of being mute various times in my life and when I was at my lowest I've even though about concrete ways to make it real but I guess I'll just stay like this, even if I become more fluent I don't know if I'll ever like talking as much as naturally fluent people, and I actually organize my thoughts better and enjoy myself more when I write so yeah, I'd be happy to have conversations on a bloc-note.