Have you considered being upfront and honest with people and just tell them you stutter? You need to take all that pressure off yourself. I used to give my teachers a note on the first day of every new school year, saying all the things I couldn’t get out, in person. My name, how I struggled with reading out loud, and how I stuttered over almost everything. You know what that did? It diffused the situation. If a person is worth your fucking time, they will show empathy. And the ones who don’t? Fuck ‘em. I empathize with you, I really do - but you need to stop thinking about your stutter as the one thing holding you back from everything. You can own it. Connecting with people, now that the internet is here, is entirely possible! Reach out to your community here. Find like minded people. Look for some hope. It’s only with accepting yourself and all the flaws that you actually start LIVING. For that reason alone my 30’s are exponentially better than my 20’s, and childhood years. No contest.