At some point, we have to buckle down and take control of fear......

At some point, we have to buckle down and take control of fear...... I was always the guy picked as a partner for school presentations. I mean could you blame them? I always tried to shift all the talking on to my classmates and hide my entire presence as much as possible. I was the kid who likely knew the answer, but avoided being called on at all costs. I always thought, “we’ll I’m not good at that and I’ll never really be good at that so I’ll never do it.” Social engagement that could benefit me and give me more opportunities but potentially embarrass me? Not over my dead body! I was initially thinking I was saving our grade and myself from disturbing embarrassment. But the truth is that I was letting fear win. I was letting fear do what it wanted. I allowed it to keep me in my little bubble of comfort. I had to obey my emotions. I was a slave to my fears. And back then, I didn’t know how to get to the underground railroad...... Day after day went by. I continued to let kids who may or may not have been smarter than me answer questions I knew good and well. “I’ll get the next one. I’ll wait until there’s no one in the room.” I kept telling myself. Traumatizing the thought of them laughing at me everyday. Graduation day came and went. I was still a smart kid, but I felt like I missed out. I had this sheet of paper, but next to nothing to really show for it. I had gotten my first job a small restaurant few months after graduation. It only took 57 interviews. I was hoping my anxiety and stuttering wouldn’t be as bad since was a new start to life. I was so pure and naive. Here again, I was the smart kid at work but a slave to my emotions. Customers would look at me oddly when I spoke. My anxiety lead into me making more mistakes at work. I wouldn’t dare walk into the break room where I’m sure I was a topic of most of my co-workers. I was always stared at and people treated me like an alien. Every stare felt like a knife jab. And my negative thoughts were the oozing blood...... I’d avoid overtime and eventually took a janitor position just to avoid having to speak to people. There I was, that smart kid in high school with so much potential begging to clean toilets. One thing led to another and I began asking for fewer days at work and college so I could recover. I honestly wished I never had to speak again. I thought that was a good wish to have. Truth of the matter, I was wishing to satisfy my slave master: fear. Instead of overcoming my fear, I was trying to make it more prevalent. Making it easier for it to lock me in. I thought comfort was the way out. Comfort felt good. It was only friend. Fast forward a few years. I never got a promotion at that job and still had a longer ways to go in college because I missed so many days. Still afraid of being embarrassed to speak. Still being a slave to fear. I was still just a timid-ass toilet scrubber. “But I’m smart! How can my life be like this?” I thought. I was finally fed up with how the world was treating me. I knew that if I didn’t make a big change sooner or later that my life would be pretty much the same for many more years. I had a problem with fear. I wanted a solution to fear. Not to be just be told: “Oh it’s ok to stutter. Just avoid speaking”. “Poor you.” “There is no cure to stuttering.” “I feel so bad for you.” “You just have to live with it.” “You’re just born that way, accept it.” “Take the day off, wouldn’t want them to hear you.” I was done with bandages. I was done with all of these things that people were telling me. I was done with people treating me oddly and staring. I was done with looking for comfort. I was done avoiding every social situation. I was done being fear’s bitch....... This desire to evolve inspired me to do research. And in this research period, I’ve found a lot of life changing information about fluency. I shifted my thinking. I changed the way my mindset handles communication. I learned how to deal with fear. I am now one of the top sales people for a construction company I do digital marketing for. I now look people directly in the eyes when explaining things. People love when I speak to them and I rarely get nervous. Be it a stranger across the street or a top CEO, I was able to hold my ground in conversation. I was able to use what I had learned about fluency in other areas of life. It changed my life for the better. I now have a much clearer future for myself when communicating with others. I’m mastering fear’s tricks and conquering what it throws at me. And you can too! Moral of my story: do not let fear make you its’ bitch! And if it does, do research and find out how you can turn these tables. Because yes, you can turn fear’s tables! 💪