No two people are living the same life! But there are like a million things anyone can do to improve their lives. I spent so much of my early 20s thinking and worrying about my speech that I neglected to take care of myself in other ways, making both my speech and my life objectively worse. If overthinking your speech is a problem and it drains your energy, well, learn how to take your mind of things and stop overthinking. It's hard to change your neural pathways, but possible, people do it all the time. I do boxing 3 times a week and not for a second in those classes I think about my speech, I just think about not dying xD the hours afterwards are also of great clarity, I am just too fucking tired to worry. Other things that personally helped me - hot yoga, meditation, sensory deprivation tanks, therapy, progressive muscle relaxation. None of those things are quick fixes, but you can go far in a year if you put in work. I am still not able to control my speech 100% of the time, but speech is not everything. And the more control you have in other aspects of your life the better you will feel.