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I'm used to it (sorry for bad English) Today in college my professor asked me a question. I knew the answer but I couldn't said it. I replied to professor I didn't know the answer. Professor scolded me front of 200 students. I live in a 3rd world country so every class is packed with students. So not giving answer to professor or when I was at school it was common thing for me. I do well in exam. So everyone thinks I cheat on exam. I heard them backbiting about me couple of times. I have social anxiety so I don't have friends. In my country it's very weird that one doesn't have any friends. when I was on 9th grade I moved to a new school. My teacher asked me a question I started stuttering for like 10 seconds and he just left. Everyone in my class was laughing. The best I could do in that situation was also laugh with them. At this point I have 2 people on my phone contact list and both being my parents. I don't post anything on internet. But today something happen with me that I will remember rest of my life. My father is also stutters but he has a good social life. I'm not sad anymore. I just tried of people looking at my face with a smile like they are seeing a new animal. At this point it doesn't bothers me anymore. I told myself I will enjoy myself while my father can work. I will stay at my room. How can I explain, social anxiety is like rose it's beautiful and peaceful and it gives me pain. I don't want it but I have no option. My childhood memories is filled with bullying and stuttering. I liked a girl in school didn't tell anyone. There was no one to tell to begin with. So in a new class teacher fixed seat's for student. Every student will sit in a certain position. That girl's seat was next to me I was quite happy. The same day when school ended everyone left I was a little tired so I was sitting alone in class. After a few minutes I was going to Washroom. And to go to Washroom. I heard some people talk in loud voice. It was my crush's parents. I saw that the girl was crying. I was peeping through the door. So they where talking about why their child had to sit with me. The girl said she didn't want to sit next to me. I left after hearing that I didn't go to school after for a few days. Said to teacher I was ill. I wasn't sad . Maybe I was but I was more embarrassed. These are nothing compared to what I had to face in my family gathering.