Honestly this post hit me like a fucking truck man, especially the "You'll never understand' know what its like part" I've tried speech pathology from about 7 to 18 and I honestly just couldn't be asked anymore. Even though it's not that big of deal to most people, its the few that we remember and make us feel like shit. The mental scars I've received from ADHD and stuttering I feel like I have fucking PTSD, the way they treat kids with ADHD as kids its like you're a fucking monster and you're retarded, its disgusting. Then the stuttering as an adult is more just not being status quo in a society built around being status quo, which also lowers your self esteem. Like I was just curious and took a personality test online (I know they aren't 100% legit but its good for a general understanding) and I swear to god I have like 2 or 3 personality disorders because of stuttering. Paranoid/schizoid/avoidant because I'm so fucking worried what new people are going to thing of me and my stutter, to a point its crippling. Making new friends is extremely hard and I almost 95% never say the first word. For me it's more than social anxiety it's feeling like its life or death either way. And 95% I will not interact with someone unless I know it's going to be a good interaction. And this sucks because I feel if I didn't have a stutter I would feel extremely extroverted. Sorry for my wall of text, it just felt good to blurt out my thoughts on a page to people who might actually understand.