Well I was once there. Thankfully after a while I started to look for solutions to my problem and now I am doing great although I speak pretty bad. There are ways, be it a speech therapy or psychologist or such a simple yet powerful thing as a mindfullness meditation. Try to google a bit. What has always helped was to write down all my thoughts and try to think how could I improve my current state. And to finish it - nothing lasts forever, the sadness will go (if not then you may need to visit a psychiatrist). Anyway, there is always a solution, keep it up :)