Hi there. You've posted in here before. It doesn't sound like you're doing all that good. Have you considered finding a therapist of some sort? - As for 'being ourselves', let me be blunt with you: We're _never_ "ourselves". We are in all sorts of ways, depending on which situation we're in, and how much we tend to vary the way we are, according to those situations. This means you have an _idea_ of what you want to be like. It does not mean that _that's_ what you're _really_ like. In other words, stutter isn't stopping you from being "yourself". It's just that this way you want to be - without stutter - is something that you're going to have to work towards, and see where it takes you. So, you're going to have to find out what you're like, when you move in that direction, with your stutter and all, and the ways you can find of dealing with that. - Please keep working on that. There are professionals who can help you.