What you did takes guts. Moving out of your comfort zone like that is a huge achievement that you shouldn't take lightly, regardless of whether or not you ran into a few hurdles. Recently, I went outside the US for the first time to go to Japan. I studied the Japanese language for the past two years, but when I got there and had to speak to actual people, I was really nervous most of the time so I wasn't always able to say what I wanted to say due to blocks. So I understand your frustration completely but you gotta keep going. The few interactions I had that were successful really made it feel like all the studying prior to the trip was really worth it. It's rng (sort of) my friend, you have to keep rolling the dice. Nothing will change sitting inside forever. I hope it gets better for you soon!