I thought of using my throwaway account but I guess I should try and post a comment here using my own. The past months before the year ended have been pretty rough on me and I felt pressured, was I happy? I could say so, yes. But in a way, the thought of me being pressured with things again and again and being unable to speak sort of affects the way I interact with people in general, too. I tend to isolate myself as much as possible when I know I can't speak to people properly or fluently to the best that I can. This year has been pretty weird, I think the most challenging part for me so I decided to look for psychiatric help, maybe coupled with past things I'm trying to get over, I just want to get over with the way I'm speaking, too. One of the worst experience I had was when someone I cared about told in front of my face "why am I the one who's always talking?". That really hurt me pretty bad, as much as I want to connect with people, I can't share my vulnerability with them in person even if I want to talk. And people just can't seem to get that. It's one of the reasons why I'm trying to seek a psychiatrist now. I know that some people don't mean it when they say it but experiencing that often, especially these past months I think is taking a toll on me.