I’m so cripplingly lonely and frustrated

I’m so cripplingly lonely and frustrated I’m well over a month into university, and it seems like everyone has already made strong friendships. While I did do well in the first week of university, I’ve unconsciously avoided every social interaction I could. Now my stutter is getting worse and I have less connections than most people. I convinced myself for years that I didn’t need or want friends, but looking at all the fun stuff I want to do, I really want friends. I really want to go out all the time, have fights, have friendship drama like I used to. I am so lonely, so self-hating, and yet I can barely speak these days in order to change my reality. I feel like every step I took to this point has been wasted, because there’s no way I can be the person I want to be. I thought i just took hard work to achieve happiness, but you also need to be able to speak properly in order to have human connection. I feel like my soul dies every time I see friends having fun together. I just wish someone could help me.