Eventually the numbness goes away.... Eventually all the years of pain comes to the surface in a constant pool of despair. There's no justice in this world, only you and the careless, indifferent void.

Eventually the numbness goes away.... Eventually all the years of pain comes to the surface in a constant pool of despair. There's no justice in this world, only you and the careless, indifferent void. When all hope is lost, even the lion cowers in fear like the rat. But no, how could the lion cower? He's supposed to be strong right? Why does the rat get a free pass to be weak? People blame the lion but never the rat for being weak, and when the lion hits rock bottom he realizes that none of his Shame was truly his. It was just indoctrinated inherited guilt. And when the lion finally lays down in his sadness is when he gets what he was owed by the universe. A place to be weak. Humans view other humans like the lion. When reality breaks you down to the point of collapse, People will blame YOU for being weak. For not being strong enough to face your greatest fears. Some people can't face their fears. Some people aren't built for overcoming their toughest demons. And all this time I've felt guilty for even wanting to give up. Just the desire to give up.... To stop trying because I'm facing an uphill battle. Everyone shuns me. This stutter.... I can't face a world with this stutter. A severe speech disability... It's embarrassing, and the social anxiety gets to me greater than anything. For 7 years I've been in speech therapy yet none of the fluency shaping or speech modification techniques work. Yet I'm still at fault for wanting to give up .. for knowing im too weak to face the social anxiety head on. But in this situation I'm the lion ... I was given such a shitty hand and I can't even give up. Where is the humanity in that? Why must I keep going when I know I can't handle it? Im weak. Pity party is justified. 🥳 🎉