gotta use tone markers then wife: "genuine question. are you mad at me?" husband: "literal statement. not mad." or dad: "expression of shock. how could you do that?" daughter: "genuine question. negative shock as in 'don't do that' or positive shock as in 'surprisingly good job'?" dad: "positive shock" daughter: "expression of disappointment. how could you doubt my skills?" dad: "let me restart. expression of fatherly pride and rhetorical question. wow how could you do that?"