How do you glean that I've not made peace with the past? I'm interested in you expanding on how I am identifying with the victim mentality as well. Maybe I am, as I know exactly what it's like and how it affected me. People can be how they like. I'm not trying to be condescending but also not worried about it. As I've said, I believe a "tougher" approach is better than holding people in your arms and saying it's okay not to be challenged.