34 f, stuttering since I was 4. It became more physical around 12 years old. I started "blocking" and would get stuck on a word or sound while grimacing and nodding my head uncontrollably. Some meds make it worse and some make it better. Anyone else have this specific affliction? How do you cope?

34 f, stuttering since I was 4. It became more physical around 12 years old. I started "blocking" and would get stuck on a word or sound while grimacing and nodding my head uncontrollably. Some meds make it worse and some make it better. Anyone else have this specific affliction? How do you cope? Is this a form of tourettes syndrome? I have had this problem forever. Speech therapy when i was a kid was awful, my speech therapist was an awful person and just talked about herself. I had speech therapy when I was 14 at a hospital and it helped a little. Age 17 I started using drugs and it got worse. My anxiety is so bad. I'm 34 and have 2 kids I can barely talk to them I get so flustered my head hurts. This has always been a burden on my head very heavy I can't get rid of it. Edit: I am also Bipolar and am slowly going up the dosage of lamictal and stuttering has gotten worse. I have never heard of any drugs that worked for stuttering. If anyone has conquered this through meds or other ways, how???!!amphetamines helped when I would do them many years ago. Opiates always made the stuttering worse. I am clean now besides weed. I don't drink. Trying to be stable emotionally is messing with my speech!!