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rant (apologies in advance) Hey everyone, I (24M) have been dealing with a severe block since childhood. Thanks to it i fail 80-90% of basic interactions with people and almost all first impressions. Over the years i managed to acquire some tricks to try and function like a normal bloody human being but now im overseas for studies (new language) and am reliving my childhood nightmares but with adult responsibilties and expectations. I feel suicidal, no one understands my life. Not my counsellors, not my parents, not even my friends. To them, speaking is not a luxury but something that can be done at will. My classmates think im snobby for not talking much but the truth is i struggle with the most basic sentences and i cant start speaking without severely disrupting the dynamic and them pausing awkwardly for a long while. Almost everyone else without a speech impediment is able to weave in and out of speaking in a group such finesse (if that made sense haha). There are times when i am so excited to express myself but then i stumble with the first syllable and subsequently retreat to my safe my space away and listen without saying anything. Sometimes i wish i was a mute. Theyve got visio-conference tools to help them communicate with others and (generally) everyone understands that they are disabled. People with blocks on the other hand are expected to be normal, till we open our mouths. We are neither here nor there in the realm of normality. Im so sorry for the weird rant, just needed to open up to people who could potentially relate to this.. Would really appreciate some advice. Have a great day guys :)