As a 40 year old who's been stuttering since 4 years old, let me tell you, stutter is not ruining you, you think it is, but it's actually a gift from God. I have a similar stutter pattern, there's a lot of sounds I can't easily pronounce, some not at all without massive struggle and awkawrd face and body reaction. The reason why it gives you so much stress and anxiety is because you are trying to be someone you're not. We have these expectations from "social programming" and would like to be someone we're not. It's one thing to genuinely want to do something you're passionate about, and it's another to try to acquire a certain image so that you appear a certain way in this world. The latter is a recipe for a life of suffering and of course the ego strokes we're looking for. The most important part of dealing with stuttering, is to accept it. Accept it as part of you. Do not try to get rid of it. If you view it as an ailment and should't belong to you, you'll have that inner resistance which will always make it worse. Accept the fact that it'll live with you for the rest of your life, and see what you can do from this baseline. I know self-acceptance sounds cliche, but I think this is really a gift we came with to teach us this exact thing. You'll experience a shift if you do this. You'll no longer be suffering inside all day long. I used to have very severe anxiety, to the point where often I had trouble breathing, and my body was literally deterirating year by year. Now I'm lighter than ever. Even though I still stutter, and I can get anxious on the spot, that anxiety never lasts. My heart is joyous without any stimulant when I'm alone or not doing anything. It was a big shift for me. It doesn't matter what cards are dealt to you, what matters is how you play them.