>I feel like if I didn't have this stutter I would be in a better position in my life. That's a counter factual fallacy. You have no idea what your life would be like if you had lived a different life. I looked at your other post. If you're seeking help with your fluency, you might consider finding an SLP who specializes in stuttering. You've observed that your fluency ebbs and flows. Knowing that, you can improve your fluency. But doing it alone is a monumental task. I'd make the analogy of trying to learn to play the piano. Will you be more successful trying to figure it out on your own? Asking another piano player for tips? or by reading a book? No. Find a qualified teacher and take lessons. And you practice. And you recognize that to get fluent isn't something you do in a month. It takes time and effort to improve your fluency.