It is great that you are writting about your emotions and personal dillema´s. That is self is healing. It is hard to give you a tip because the stuttering issue is a complex one. Keep on writting and expressing on whatever medium you can. I read that a woman who had severe stuttering (Ruth Mead: Speech is a River) cure herself by writting 3 months of freely, fluently, mindless, natural words on paper. She let her inner self express and tear down the barriers and wrong belief of her controlling self. All on writting. Best of luck.