I have the same situation as you and completely understand what you are talking about. I have realized that there are certain things in life that can't be controlled by me. Instead of bothering myself by trying to speak and getting myself into situations where I might be humiliated or laughed at, I simply use my phone to talk to other people. In this way, everything is done much faster and easier. Of course, I did not mean to imply that you do not have to try to get better. If you have enough hope, you can fix that; try your best to do so. But I feel that typing on my phone and communicating with people in this way is easier and less distracting for me, and I can interact more easily. So I have no shame in doing it.