thinking about my future with my stutter
Content
thinking about my future with my stutter Recently I’ve been thinking about what the hell im gonna do. I’m in high school and I graduate in 4 months and I’m gonna have to get a job and go to college. I don’t even know what I wanna do exactly but. Thinking about college and all the presentations you have to do makes me not wanna go at all and I’ve seriously been thinking about just not going to college. And getting some stupid job where I don’t have to really talk all that much if I don’t want to. I know this isn’t what I really want but I don’t have the nerve to stutter my way through college and have a repeat of highschool. I’m sick of this anxiety every day and not being able to speak properly. My stutter isn’t all that bad, but it’s moderate. When I’m talking to people it’s normally fine but when I’m triggered with stress it goes. I can’t speak properly. So school has been hell for me because that’s all school is. Being called on and having to read out loud and dumb shit like that. I’m over it and I wanna be done with it. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want my stutter to get in the way of my dreams (even if I don’t know what they are yet). But like I said I don’t have the courage and I don’t have the heart to go through college constantly having to talk in front of a shit load of people. I’ve found that speaking more in front of others hasn’t really helped me. I normally do anything to avoid it but my freshman year in our speech class I actually started off the year semi okay, my stutter wasn’t as bad, and then by the end, my last speech I couldn’t pronounce one word. So yeah. It didn’t help me at all. I’m really worried for my future. Damn I hate this.