Stammering tends to manifest in the context of formative years and can colour the narrative of a lifetime. From my own experience this has been a blend of negative critical judgement, perceived or experienced as well as encouragement and support from whom I have shared…all I can do really is speak from the I. My stammer is pretty much hidden from the observer. Blocks predominate but as we all know, avoidance is a central feature of the stammering experience….I have gone to great lengths over my lifetime to avoid stammering and being perceived as such in social situations….the cost of avoidance for me has been profound and i imagine for many others here also. The reluctance to share my experiences, the yearning to be perceived as fluent and subsequent efforts and behaviour to do so have probably come at greater cost. This has fuelled my own shame and sense of being different and defective. As such, I have learned, as others have noted here and this is certainly easier said than done but to try to accept stammering as being part of you. It doesn’t define you. You, the totality of the person who you are, are not your speech. Those who are fluent would not define themselves in terms of their fluent speech so why should we…. I find Irvin Goffmans teaching on stigma to be helpful in understanding our plight. He differentiates between visual and hidden stigma and I think this can be helpful in understanding the psychology of stammering. What we are discussing here is centrally important to the stammering experience. Self disclosure can be a gradual journey I think and from my experience, more so for those stammering is a hidden experience…only my 2 cents here! In terms of disclosure, I would suggest taking a risk with those who you feel safe with and that you believe will not judge you etc…from here, potential widen the circle of disclosure. Disclosure promotes acceptance. As Van Riper noted the more a person tries not to stammer, the more they invariably do….so true for me.. I’m probably rambling here…..