I understand young being a factor but at the same time I know that I was the only reason I kept constantly getting rejected and I’m totally fine with that. I thought back on it and I realized that maybe me wanting it so much and only focusing on it made it never happen and maybe all of those rejections and clearly avoidance were signs and hints that love for me is just not bound to happen, therefore I should just give up on the trying to find love and be loved phase. And after me realizing this I started to think and insinuate that maybe I need to start making myself more useful and productive in other things. Ever since then I just stopped trying to pursue or charm girls because I know that me trying to do so is a lost cause. And At this point I just don’t see a point of trying again if I’m just gonna get pushed away by someone I deeply care about over a challenging speech impediment I can’t control. Why make things more stressful and depressing than it already is?