I don't know which I struggled with more, the direct mockery or behind my back by people I thought were friends. It most definitely has had a negative impact on my life, and I wish I had some secret for you that would help. What I can say is I've been able to find some sense of peace with myself, which has helped me to deal with other people and situations I shied away from for years. One of the hardest times, and truly some of my worst memories was reading in school. Even though my reading comprehension was far beyond the grade I was in the teacher would still fill in words for me. It made me feel dumb even though we both knew otherwise. I'd definitely prefer not to, but today? Give me that effing book, I'll read. People are going to be evil. But they thin out, they don't make it as far as you will so you essentially leave them behind. Don't hate everyone like I did. Some people truly have no idea, while others don't care to have one. Eventually you'll start to find people that see You, they hear You. Even to this day I struggle with that concept - That this person doesn't really notice. But when I'm struggling, getting more anxious and it's just becoming a shitshow of an event, the patience in their eyes and face help. These are your friends. They are out there.