commentr/StutterMarch 28, 2019

Content

Good on you for reaching out for feedback. Clearly you really dig this guy, and its sweet that you want to do right by him. I second everyone else’s comments on here: - let him finish his thoughts, even if you know whet he’s going to say or what he means. The worst thing about stuttering is the feeling that you can’t express yourself, so having someone finish your thoughts just reinforces that you can’t communicate for yourself. Just be patient and kind, let him take his time. - when it comes to talking about his stutter: stuttering is a deeply personal, major insecurity. Think about your biggest insecurity. Now imagine you having to wear that insecurity with big badge and glowing lights w/ an arrow that says look at me and my biggest insecurity. Most stutterers don’t want to talk about it, bc we’re super insecure about it, and don’t always have a good handle on it, and thinking about it comes with a lot of painful memories. So agree with others on here: only talk about it if he brings it up, - don’t try to make him feel better by minimizing his stutter. Saying things like, I sometimes stutter too (implying you can relate to what it’s like for him), or I barely notice it, or worst, I think it’s cute, all might be with good intentions, but it minimizes the pain, hurt, and lack of control he’s dealt with all his life, and minimizes his struggle. Instead, just listen, be patient, and be supportive. Let him know you really dig him, and that you care. You’ll be golden. :)

Themes

Social & RelationshipsEmotional Experience

Subthemes

Listener ReactionsFriendships & BelongingAnxiety & Social Judgment