Well, I’m not sure if this will resonate with you in your present state, but you appear to have a strong command of the English language and write well. There are plenty of people in this world who don’t stutter, but spend a vast portion of their life online and derive a lot of satisfaction from online textual relationships, Reddit being the prime example. Perhaps you could spend several hours a day enjoyably developing online friendships and interacting with people that way where the playing field is equal. In regards to dying alone, no idea where you live, but would it be possible to somehow search out female stutterers? They would definitely be completely understanding of your feelings and life experiences. Finally, if you want someone to talk to, feel free to hit me up. Maybe we could actually work on trying to improve your stutter, too. Or not. Up to you.