I’m a female stutterer. I was very opinionated and extroverted when I was young. I was dimly aware of my stutter but was absolutely certain it would go away when I got older because I’d never heard an adult stutter. It wasn’t until I was in the seventh grade and had to go up to the podium in church and recite the our father for stations of the cross, and I had real trouble saying “Jesus,” that I knew how cruel kids could be and my stutter became the shameful center of my world. I’m 35 now and as I’m sure most people in this sub can relate, my stutter shaped who I am and what I’ve done with my life. Got into weed and alcohol because I believed the substances lessened my stutter. Went into a career I didn’t like simply because it was a job that didn’t revolve around me speaking. I still have to sometimes and I still get horrible anxiety about it. Made stupid decisions with men because I believed I never deserved anything more because I stuttered. Still hate making phone calls. Hate myself for passing this curse onto my son. In my head being female made it worse. It’s a lot more common for males to stutter, and I believed it more common for women to accept flaws in men (ie. all the stupid sitcoms with a smoking hot wife and mediocre husband, not to mention my real life example of my mom just accepting that my dad cheated and staying , etc) than for men to accept flaws in women. I hid my stutter pretty well, not speaking up when I wanted to or pretending to forget what I was saying or switching words around to make it easier to say even if it made me sound stupid. I still do this. I’m still ashamed. It’s too ingrained in me and I don’t know how to get past it after this long. I really, really admire you being able to get past the fear of people ridiculing your stutter. I’m trying but don’t know if I’ll ever get there.