How can I stutter more gracefully?

How can I stutter more gracefully? I want to gently tap the repetitions so I don’t spit, bite myself, or have my eyes roll into the back of my head. I want to feel comfortable stuttering. Yes. The kind of stuttering that gets you laughed at. I’d prefer that then to keep living a lie as if I’m as verbally capable as my peers. I am not. That’s perfectly fine. I don’t even want to be anymore. I just want to learn how to stutter and unlearn this avoidance. Undo all the lies I’ve basically created around my awkward speech to make people believe I don’t actually stutter. I do. So, how do you start to stutter softly? Instead of “c-ccc-c-can I…..” or ———-can i” I want: “ c-c-c-c-can i” Is this even possible?