commentr/StutterApril 23, 2022

Content

Yes, there is one thing you definitely can do proactively that he will appreciate: I know everyone here is saying don't finish his sentences, and that is true. BUT there is ONE exception! If he is ever introducing you to one of his friends, or more specifically just an acquaintance or coworker or extended family member (i.e. ppl he kinda knows but isn't super close with) and you have the opportunity to say your own name first, DO IT! Or if you don't and he begins to introduce you " Jim, good to see you. I'd like you to meet my girlfriend ------- " And he starts to lose it on your name, like he blocks or sticks on the first syllable, just jump in an say "Hi! I'm Jane! Nice to meet you Jim" I'll tell you why this is important and an exception. Stuttering is ALMOST our core being. But even more core is the social structure, especially for males and asserting in the wild "This is my mate , everybody see? Hands off ok?!" It's built into us like apes. So when introducing his mate to a tribe member, he's also asserting his manhood by saying yo bro, she's with me. If he cannot complete this very instinctual task, it's a big ding to our self esteem (even if subconsciously). So by jumping in and completing for him if needed, this allows him a buffer time for a do-over. Because you asserted "yo Jim , I'm Jane and I'm with him! " And your guy will follow right behind you and repeat that to Jim " yes, Jim, pardon my stammer there, but yes this is the lovely Jane I've told you about" This social act is essential to all ape brained men. And it's the only exception to help him complete it IF you see him struggle for a sec on your name. Then, don't mention it unless he does. It takes some practice but every woman I dated did just fine. Sorry for the length

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceSocial & RelationshipsIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionDisclosure & Telling OthersAuthenticity vs. MaskingIdentity & Self-Perception

Codes (2)

saying_name_introductionsocializing_one_on_one