commentr/StutterJuly 13, 2020

Content

I will certainly have a look! When I was in the process of therapy I didn't analyse the process much, but now, a few years later and after training as an art therapist myself, I'm realising what change happened. Let me get back to you on resources. It's not so much about being more expressive that helps, but identifying and dealing with negative thought patterns that co-exist to diminish fluency. For every person this is completely different and very personal. There is no one fix for each person. This is very hard to unpick on your own and is why a good therapist is crucial, someone who can help you break down what is going in your head and what dysfunctional "core beliefs" are feeding your stutter. For me it was feeling like I was less able and less of a person than everyone else. So in my mind (before we even get to speech) I was constantly trying to prove myself to others and gain people's acceptance (stemming from my childhood experiences or not being accepted/understood). So my stammer got it's worst around parents and higher authority figures (teachers, professionals and anyone I deemed to be "above" me). So a big part of my therapy was facing that belief about myself head on and asking, "wait, am I less than other people? why do I not believe that I'm enough and capable? why do I need to prove myself to anyone?". It took me a long time of healing and therapy to work through those beliefs. But now I can wake up and truly believe that as a person I am simply enough, I am as capable as anyone else and that I don't need to prove myself to anyone. The difference in my speech to before my therapy is black and white :) I honestly never thought I could be a professional due to my speech, now I'm training staff in my school and working with children with special needs! I never thought a few years ago that this could be a reality, to work without speech being a persistent and very noticeable problem. Hope that helps understand the process. Maybe in your case, simple based on what you said, "trying to be likeable" is something that's part of me also, that leads to the question, "Why do I need these people to like me?", "Is it okay if they don't like me? will everyone I meet like me? Is it okay for them not too?", "Can I still respect and like myself when people I meet don't like me?", "How much of myself am I sacrificing striving to be liked by everyone?". Those are questions I've asked myself in the past dealing with similar though patterns. A good therapist can help you dig into those and find out what is the core belief behind it all. But the process never ends, therapy is a beginning to give you tools to understand yourself and live a healthier emotional life. I still sometimes struggle with the above, but I've written notes to myself to remind me about my worth and to bring me back to positive beliefs about myself. Therapy is simply an amazing resource to get the tools to live the best life you can. Good luck on your journey! Just know that you are worth going to therapy for and there is no such thing as a hopeless case.

Themes

Therapy & ProfessionalIdentity & DisabilityCauses & VariabilityCoping & AdvocacyEmotional ExperienceSchool & Work

Subthemes

Positive Therapy TechniquesIdentity & Self-PerceptionTrauma & PsychologicalSelf-Advocacy & BoundariesHope & MotivationEmployment & Career