What you need is some confidence, you need to grow out of this mindset you've constructed that is self sabotaging. That's not a shot at you, I understand how you feel. I have a very severe stutter myself and can't get more that a word or two out at once. When I was 16-18 I had that same victim mentality, that the world was happening to me and I could do nothing about it. I was VERY wrong. I'm now 22 and nothing has changed but my mindset, I still stutter very bad. I've taken control of my life, gone and done what I want regardless of how I speak. Now I have my own business (yes while having a stutter) and I'm happier than I've never been. That way of thinking will get you nowhere, you must realize that you are NOT your stutter. If you want advice from someone who's gone through this first hand, message me. I want to help you