I feel you bro. It’s hard, really hard. Idk if you believe in God but I’m here to tell you that he has you here for a reason. I know it’s impossible to see that at times, or even question why he would allow certain people to have “hinderances” like this. But I know you are here for a purpose and like the weather man we have these sunny days but we also have storms with all this rain, and like flowers we grow from it. You ain’t alone my brotha and if you ever wanna chat just lmk. All love 🙏🏾