I´m very sorry to hear this dude. Situations like these can be tough. Feels like people are watching you, thinking you´re incompetent or immature. That´s what it feels like to me at least. You did a really good job though for putting yourself out there. You can´t control people´s reaction or external circumstances, but you can control your courage. Which is what you did. If you want any advice from me on how to deal with this rn let me know