I totally understand how you feel and all I can say is keep your head up. Stuttering is a very mental thing and when you’re in stressful times that can really exaggerate things. Personally my self esteem has been shot to shit because of it. You’re not alone, you should really find someone you trust and explain what’s going on to at least get it off your chest THINGS WILL GET BETTER and as long as you remember that you’ll be fine