I'm also a 14 year old who lives in England. My sister has a medical stammer, i dont, i have an anxiety stammer so some words are worst than others like my fucking name, its all so fucking complicated and I also find it hard to articulate my feelings and express my self with talking to people. Your case is far worse than mine and I don't have the right to sympathise with you, only empathise. Stuttering sucks man, when the teacher reads the register out infront of my whole class I'm rehearsing it at lunch, not eating, and staying introverted and alone. People just don't understand how big our problems is to there's. I literally freeze when somebody asks for my name infront of a class or social gathering, it sucks. I'm sorry.