Content
[Rant] Stutter and loneliness I'm an immigrant and I stutter wayyy more in English, less so when I'm speaking my native language, but still stutter. There was a time when I didn't stutter this much and it didn't really bother me, but for some reasons, during the past 3-4 years or so, my stutter got so bad I couldn't even speak a sentence without a block. I often daydream and reminisce about the days when I had friends in school, time that I didn't stutter as bad. The pandemic and working have made me even lonelier as my friends from college all gone to different cities to find jobs and we slowly lost touch. I find it hard to connect with my co workers because of the stutter. I could see the cringe on their faces when they speak to me and I secretly envy when I see a group of people just talking and joking with each other. I know I am capable of speaking fluently because I almost don't stutter when I'm alone speaking to myself, but as soon as someone shows up, my brain switched and I stutter like a broken CD. Being alone in a foreign country is lonely enough and my stutter doesn't make it any easier. I keep hearing people say as they age, they become more acceptant of themselves and the stutter would eventually get better so I am hopeful that there will be a day when I can fully accept myself at the subconscious level and the stutter will be gone for good. God, I miss my student days when I had friends and shit. End rant.