Hi If you struggle so much with saying your name, why not change it to something else? Go with a nickname or something, there's no point in keeping something that is that big of a pain in the ass to say. You are an adult. Take control and change it. Just email your teachers and say you want to go by this name and it shouldn't be a problem. I hate to hear about the horrible experience you had. I think that we have all been there. It happened to me today i was on a very important phone call and all of a sudden i just couldn't get the words out. I took a deep breath, on the exhale i tried again and i was able to talk again. (i hate talking tbh) I wish you the best of luck