You’re in deep! But I’ve been there. Mindset is, in my opinion, what you should I focus on. Learn to love yourself. Do yourself a favor and read this book, it’s a classic: New Psycho Cybernetics by Dan S Kennedy and Maxwell Maltz. It’ll change your life. Did mine. Helped with the mindset foundation that later lead me overcoming my stutter. Believe it’s possible! There are many of us on here sharing success stories.