im definitely the second part, but its not entirely true when i say "stuttering has ruined my life"i dont mean like im gonna go die or something like that it just means that its ruined how i am as a person. i'm socially awkward, my personality is not who i really am, can't crack jokes anymore without it sounded awkward, cant explain things properly without making the other person more confused etc. it's definitley ruined who i am and its hard to accept reality