Anyone else experience this viscous cycle?

Anyone else experience this viscous cycle? I’m a covert stutterer for the most part. For as long as I can remember people always told me that to overcome or accept my stuttering I just needed to put myself out there and stutter. That the less you avoid stuttering, the more you accept it and then possibly stutter less For me I’ve always experienced the opposite. The stuttering was a self reinforcing viscous cycle. I make the commitment to speak without any avoidance strategies and when I would stutter the shame would reinforce the need to stutter. To the point where I would only stutter once a minute to all of a sudden having it on every word with longer blocks. Whereas with covert stuttering I find the opposite. When I pick and choose what to say in a way that I can speak it fluently, the more confident I become and then the less blocks I experience. But ofc living like this is also quite demoralizing after a while.