Stuttering relation towards "unrelated" problems. (Q/Vent)

Stuttering relation towards "unrelated" problems. (Q/Vent) Hey, i just want your pov on this because i truly believe stuttering is the root of many of my struggles that i deal with. I'm 17 and live in a pretty conservative country, ever since i was a child i was abused due to my stuttering, physically and emotionally. i was disowned at 13 for still stuttering as people view it over here as a burden from god. i've always felt different but it really didn't worse until i turned 13. I love talking to people and i always have charming/funny things to say but i decide to keep it to myself due to the fact that i'll get exhausted, and i'd feel ashamed / dumb. I've been dealing with depression anxiety and loneliness. i have an extroverted personality yet my stutter forces me to become introverted. a lot of people have wronged me / used me and i really wanted to confront them but if i'm having a bad day in terms of fluency i just don't, and give my self another reason to beat myself up. i'm always craving drugs, even though they are hard to get over here ( even harder with a stutter ) my mind always craves any sort of drug/medicine just to take the edge off. i'm a term away from graduating high school and want to leave, but my stutter will follow me where ever i go. i really don't want sympathy or pity ( thank you though ) but the worst part of stuttering. that it doesn't care if your having a bad day or not, or if something traumatic happened recently, it always lurks and kicks you when your down. it doesn't help that i look different (piercings and tattoos ) anyways all my experience lead me to think about the root of my problems, and i know this feels as if I'm using stuttering as an excuse but it always lead back to stuttering. but guess i have a lifetime ahead of me to learn how to coexist with this demon known as stuttering. the few "friends" i have prefer playing games online rather than going out every once in a while, so whenever we "talk" they always talk over me and make me feel as if i'm worthless or unwanted. when i brought how i felt to them genuinely and how i care about them etc and i just wanted to feel comfortable around my "friends" they told me i'm overreacting being a bitch,being overly sensitive and how it happens to everyone so why am i making a big deal out of it, ever since then i've been excluded from everything and honestly don't care anymore, if the love isn't genuine it wouldn't sit right with me i got off topic abit but thank you for reading, i'd love to hear your own personal ventures/opinions on what i said. (also if there are any artists on this sub i'd love to commission an illustration of stuttering)