I've just given up and accepted my shitty fate, I mean it's either suicide or acceptance, there is no in between for me since it's incurable and one of the most unattractive disabilities one can have. I don't want to see those annoyed faces that I know too well ever again, I don't want people to sympathize with me or treat me differently out of pity, I don't want to lose myself in the delusional hope of living the life of a normal, healthy person. I've taught myself to be my own friend, boyfriend, and even parent, and I'll just stay alive, make the most of my peaceful and quiet existence, until I lose the strength and determination I currently have.