Problem with finding a job and avoiding situations
Content
Problem with finding a job and avoiding situations Hy - sorry for my bad english, I am not a native english speaker. I have been a stutterer for nearly 15 years now - I started stutter when I was 9. The irony is, when I was 7 years old, I wast the best reader in the classrom (the teacher always said how excellent my reading skills were). So, 1 and a half year later, everything went to hell...I dont know why, but slowly I become a stutterer. During my elementary and high school, I did not stress about sttutering ... I always taught: tomorrow it will stop. I had a lot of friends and social life, so stuttering did not botter me et all (except during oral presentations: that was hell! :D). Now I can not find a job. I have diploma in communications and public relations and as you can see, my job requires working with people.. Sometimes I regret choosing this field of work and I cry a lot. l am angry at myself cuz I did not choose a different field (where would be easier for me),but then I tell to myself: stuttering must NOT define you. I am very extrovert and I like working with people, so its very hard for me that people, who are hiring, dont accept my "problem". Before the interviews, I am very positive but as soon as I start speaking, everything goes to hell. I have failed a lot of interviews (been looking for a job nearly for 1 year ) and now I am finding myself avoiding new opportinities. When someone calls me for interview, I tell them I am sick or something like that, so I cannot experience one more failure. I can not do it this way anymore, I become depressed. My main thoughts throughout the days are: I am incapable for doing this job... I will never have a work, who suits me .. I will have to except a lower position ecc.. I am angry, that people only see my stuttering, and not WHO I am as a person... Yea, I am in dark place now.. And I dont know how to become more optimistic. Dont reccomend me speech therapy - I had this and it helped me just a bit, for a short period of time. If you have any recommendations, feel free to write :) !