So you mean you keep replaying situations where you stutter in front of other people? I'm still working on this, but I try to adjust my views about the experience. In essence, I try to commend myself for putting myself out there and being courageous; the stutter itself is irrelevant. I think if you did cognitive behavioral therapy they would try to do something of this nature. Some books and resources have really helped me out -- there is a book I think called "the growth mindset" by carol dweck that talks about how if something is challenging you have to focus on the fact that you had the courage to do it and to try to grow rather than painting it in black and white. Like I gave a research talk yesterday -- sure, I stuttered, but I didn't shy away from it, and I think it was a fairly good overall. Or like earlier this week I went out to lunch with some new people at work I didn't know that well. For the one lunch I stuttered a lot, but I'm really proud of myself that I put myself out there and decided to be so social. I had to stop comparing myself to other people and realize that I have a stutter and my playing field is a bit different. These scenarios are big successes, even though I previously would have felt a little weird about them, you know? There are also free books on the Stuttering Foundation's website that are good reads, and I really like listening to the StutterTalk podcast as well. I think a lot of these resources talk about not trying to beat yourself up (which we have a great knack of doing as stutterers) and trying to kind of move past it. Ironically, I feel that developing this attitude makes my stuttering more easily or less dramatic or it doesn't weigh in my head like an anvil for weeks afterwards. Feel free to keep writing and good luck, have a great rest of the week!