Please pardon me if I sound insensitive. Sometimes I'm a bit blunt. You have to love yourself before anyone else will love you. It's cliché, but it's 100% true. You said it yourself, you have self esteem issues. Work on that. Work on ONE thing. A hobby, personal fitness, develop a skill, whatever. You need to work on feeling good about yourself. Sad truth is that if you don't like who you are, no one else is going to either. Stuttering may be an impediment for you, but it's not barring you from finding someone. Plenty of people with severe disabilities find love. Get out of your hermit hole. That's not doing you any good. Find a group. Join a bowling team. Or a running group. Something to get you outside and in contact with real people. Volunteering is a great way to put some good into the world, and feel rewarded for your efforts. Don't quit on speech therapy. If the therapy you tried didn't work, then try a different program or therapist. Speech therapy didn't work for me... Until it did. Sometimes it's about the program. For me, it was about where I was in life. I went back to the same therapist / program after 10 years of absence, and I was able to achieve fluency. I was a different person the last time around. I put in maximum effort, and I achieved fluency. I wish you well!