>It was long and tortured and at the end he said he didn't understand the point of the conversation or whether or not he was supposed to be giving me advice, but he just shook my hand and walked away. I never got the chance to ask him any of the questions I had. And I don't know why but after that moment, I was devastated. Well, of course you were devastated at that moment. You did a very brave thing that you almost always avoid and it didn't go as you'd hoped. More like the opposite of what you'd hoped. That *is* devastating. I'd like to point out that the problem wasn't really that you stuttered a lot, but that this man did not have the patience (and probably the comfortableness with *himself*) to take you as you were and give you the time to say and ask whatever you wanted to. He knew what the whole thing was about; he was just uncomfortable and sort of turned it on you a bit. Of course, at the same time, you're not (yet) confident enough to say something like "it takes me a little longer to say things, but I'd really like to ask you a few more questions." That would be really hard given that you mostly avoid situations anything like this (don't have practice saying things like that). Plus, this guy sounds a bit arrogant. Also, it'd be hard for most people to talk to someone at the top of the field that they are interested it. The situation is inherently stressful and him cutting things off like that.....it sucks that he reinforced your fears. But I really really hope you don't go further into avoidance. It's so clear that you want to be part of the world, that you're passionate about this field! Yes? nukefudge asked if you've ever done speech therapy. Have you thought about doing one of those intensive programs where the focus is not so much on fluency shaping, but rather becoming more comfortable speaking even if you're stuttering, where you're sort of forced into many speaking situations until you become more immune to the whole thing? I know the idea is probably sickening, I know. But.....well, it's a kind of leap of faith, hydro, jumping off a cliff and trusting that there's a net somewhere below you. You're 26. You clearly don't want to go on like this. Sometimes, when we can't effect that kind of change by ourselves, going thru one of these programs can do it. Just something to think about. : )